Rachel Barber
1983 -1999
Official Memorial Website
Administered by Rachel's parents Michael and Elizabeth Barber
1983 -1999
Official Memorial Website
Administered by Rachel's parents Michael and Elizabeth Barber
The following words are from letters and cards written to us after Rachel's funeral. Some of these were from friends; others acquaintances. But all were people who had a story to share about Rachel. It has not been possible for me to contact these people so where necessary I have deleted names. I apologise if this is beginning to seem like one of those typed Christmas letters but isn't it lovely that we can share these passages. I am presenting them in a snapshot form; imagine one of those gift books you may find in the gift book department of a book store. (The paper cut out words are scans of the paper cut-outs Rachel's friends placed on a wreath at her funeral.)
'RACHEL IN THE WORDS OF OTHERS'
'SMILE WAS GLUED TO HER FACE'
... I fondly remember the time we went to the snow in my father's 4WD and how we got up to so much mischief. Rachel was rapt to see the snow and run up the hills to slide down in the toboggan only to fall out the bottom ending up soggy and cold - but her smile was glued to her face.
... I fondly remember the time we went to the snow in my father's 4WD and how we got up to so much mischief. Rachel was rapt to see the snow and run up the hills to slide down in the toboggan only to fall out the bottom ending up soggy and cold - but her smile was glued to her face.
A lot of my motivation is to do with Rachel
Dance Factory friend
I remember so much about your daughter; her smile, her contagious laugh, those gorgeous eyes and her warm hugs.
Canterbury Girls' Secondary School
and St. Hilary's Wipeout friend
St Hilary's youth group Wipeout friend.
I watched Rachel from a distance
Her smile never failed
Her infectious laughter was heard by all
and her giggling ways would always make me smile
I watched her play and tug at Emmanuel's side
Whilst Kylee would be hanging for her attention
those two would run and giggle
Sharing a private joke and wearing a cheeky smile
I can still see her glowing
Radiating her joy
spreading her warmth and affection
Her happiness I can still feel
and I think of her now
Dancing and smiling
alive within my memory
Kerrie
Dance Factory
Her smile never failed
Her infectious laughter was heard by all
and her giggling ways would always make me smile
I watched her play and tug at Emmanuel's side
Whilst Kylee would be hanging for her attention
those two would run and giggle
Sharing a private joke and wearing a cheeky smile
I can still see her glowing
Radiating her joy
spreading her warmth and affection
Her happiness I can still feel
and I think of her now
Dancing and smiling
alive within my memory
Kerrie
Dance Factory
A STAR AT NIGHT
Rachel will always be remembered close to my heart as one of the special people that past through my life.
She was a beautifully shy student with incredible talent and an incredible smile...
...I will remember Rachel in the stars at night - she could never be anything less.
Ballet Central
Rachel will always be remembered close to my heart as one of the special people that past through my life.
She was a beautifully shy student with incredible talent and an incredible smile...
...I will remember Rachel in the stars at night - she could never be anything less.
Ballet Central
DANCING INTRINSIC TO RACHEL
It always delighted me to see her dance. Her grace was phenomenal and her talent and dedication could not help but make an impression. Dancing seemed to be such an intrinsic part of Rachel that, even if she was resting, she would come to class to watch...
...She was a cheerful and engaging person, one minute vivacious and outgoing, the next tentative and childlike.
She touched so many different people and I know she will remain in so many memories.
Kate
Dance Factory
It always delighted me to see her dance. Her grace was phenomenal and her talent and dedication could not help but make an impression. Dancing seemed to be such an intrinsic part of Rachel that, even if she was resting, she would come to class to watch...
...She was a cheerful and engaging person, one minute vivacious and outgoing, the next tentative and childlike.
She touched so many different people and I know she will remain in so many memories.
Kate
Dance Factory
I'LL NEVER FORGET HER BUBBLY LAUGH
Rachel was loved by everyone who came across her happy smiling face.
Rachel always carried herself with such style and such grace.
I know I'll never forget her bubbly laugh, her affectionate hugs or her gorgeous smile,
Yes her laugh is something that I will remember for more than a while.
Rachel cared for everyone and everyone cared for her, too,
and why such a special person had to be taken away from us I haven't a clue.
But Rachel will be a live and smiling in our hearts forever and a day.
and I know for sure our special memories of her will always be here to stay.
Canterbury Girls' Secondary School friend
Rachel was loved by everyone who came across her happy smiling face.
Rachel always carried herself with such style and such grace.
I know I'll never forget her bubbly laugh, her affectionate hugs or her gorgeous smile,
Yes her laugh is something that I will remember for more than a while.
Rachel cared for everyone and everyone cared for her, too,
and why such a special person had to be taken away from us I haven't a clue.
But Rachel will be a live and smiling in our hearts forever and a day.
and I know for sure our special memories of her will always be here to stay.
Canterbury Girls' Secondary School friend
I'D NEVER SEEN YOU ACT
Remember the time we went to do that thing at the Princes Theatre and how we went to the Hard Rock Cafe afterwards, and you and Kylee had a few drinks. You came up to me and grabbed my hand and we ran into the toilets because you had spilt drink all over your face and you rubbed your eyes and make-up went everywhere. So we were in there cleaning you up, you were laughing and kept commenting on how pretty the bathroom was. I grabbed the paper towels and wet it, and started cleaning you up, making you all pretty for lover boy. You hugged me and ran out the door and grabbed Manni, and hugged him. Manni turned to me and said, 'What am I going to do with her.' I said,'Take her home.' He looked at me and went, 'Yeah.'
...Another time was when we were in Drama and you had to play my mother. You were so funny.
I'd never seen you act. I liked that it was funny as...
Dance Factory Friend
Remember the time we went to do that thing at the Princes Theatre and how we went to the Hard Rock Cafe afterwards, and you and Kylee had a few drinks. You came up to me and grabbed my hand and we ran into the toilets because you had spilt drink all over your face and you rubbed your eyes and make-up went everywhere. So we were in there cleaning you up, you were laughing and kept commenting on how pretty the bathroom was. I grabbed the paper towels and wet it, and started cleaning you up, making you all pretty for lover boy. You hugged me and ran out the door and grabbed Manni, and hugged him. Manni turned to me and said, 'What am I going to do with her.' I said,'Take her home.' He looked at me and went, 'Yeah.'
...Another time was when we were in Drama and you had to play my mother. You were so funny.
I'd never seen you act. I liked that it was funny as...
Dance Factory Friend
...No one can ever take away all the fun and special times that we spent together. Especially like your's and Mannie's first date to the Jam Factory; when you asked me to come with you! I love you so much. Remember keep smiling, even in heaven.
Dance Factory friend
Dance Factory friend
YOU WERE MY HERO
To my Rachel, most commonly known as my Bubba! .. Unfortunately I only had the opportunity of knowing you for a short part of your life, but you were like a true sister to me. My most common memory of us was when you came over and put on my Spice Girl CD and danced and sang flat out to every song! You were my hero. You were everything I wanted to be. We even used to dress the same at dancing.
Dance Factory friend
To my Rachel, most commonly known as my Bubba! .. Unfortunately I only had the opportunity of knowing you for a short part of your life, but you were like a true sister to me. My most common memory of us was when you came over and put on my Spice Girl CD and danced and sang flat out to every song! You were my hero. You were everything I wanted to be. We even used to dress the same at dancing.
Dance Factory friend
15 year old Rachel at
Grandad Ivan's
Grandad Ivan's
A Butterfly Hovers closely
A butterfly hovers closely
And then quickly moves away,
Swiftly going where-so-ever
her heart may freely say.
A butterfly lowers and rises
With the winds' gusty breath,
As if coupled within a dance
of a loving tenderness.
The butterfly only knows
how it feels to have wings,
To kiss the petals of flowers
In such elegant flitterings.
To have but one moment
Of such an exquisite flight,
Would be like a dream
Where all seems so right.
Author Unknown
Rachel was truly very much the butterfly in our full-time dance class. Her rare beauty and grace, her warm heart and smile made us all “ to have but one moment of such an exquisite flight”…
My memories are mostly of her kissing and hugging Manni and dancing in class. I remember her doing tap and getting frustrated. I also remember the day she went missing having morning tea with her and Kylee She was worried another girl was trying to steal Manni away.
My memories are mostly of her kissing and hugging Manni and dancing in class. I remember her doing tap and getting frustrated. I also remember the day she went missing having morning tea with her and Kylee She was worried another girl was trying to steal Manni away.
Danielle Faldt writes (2013);
I have always thought of Rachel as a butterfly. A rare, beautiful,
ethereal creature full of love and kindness and dancing in the wind.
Rachel could always make us laugh and in the time we knew her we became close from her honesty and openness. We will miss her dearly.
Canterbury Girls Secondary College friends
Last year [1998] I did Music A Capella with Rachel, and she was really helpful and supported me a lot. Rachel was the only person in the world who could make me dance to the Spice Girls in front of a classroom full of people.
I remember in year seven, I was picked on by the school bully, and Rachel would stand up for me. Rachel was the sweetest, kindest most beautiful and caring person in the world and I will always remember her in that way.
Canterbury Girls' Secondary School friend
I remember in year seven, I was picked on by the school bully, and Rachel would stand up for me. Rachel was the sweetest, kindest most beautiful and caring person in the world and I will always remember her in that way.
Canterbury Girls' Secondary School friend
From a Parishioner at St.Augustine's Anglican Church, Mont Albert North (1999).
...I remember with fondness the time when you lived in Mont Albert - when frequently I met Rachel and her sisters. And, for a time, they and you, Elizabeth, worshipped at St. Augustine's.
Rachel will always be, for me, an open talented and friendly girl. She was always so full of ideas - such as the Youth Service she was trying to organise...at St. Augustine's...
...I remember with fondness the time when you lived in Mont Albert - when frequently I met Rachel and her sisters. And, for a time, they and you, Elizabeth, worshipped at St. Augustine's.
Rachel will always be, for me, an open talented and friendly girl. She was always so full of ideas - such as the Youth Service she was trying to organise...at St. Augustine's...
From a dear friend we have lost touch with. (I have not deleted names here because I do not believe it is necessary.)
Dear Elizabeth and Michael,
I just wanted to write down for you some of my memories of Rachel from that first day of kindergarten when she decided that she was going to marry Ryan, to the last time Ryan saw her when - rumour has it! - she kissed him in the garage!
I shall always remember her as a sweet, happy, fun-loving child. I'm now watching Stuart and Heather together and they are how I remember Ryan and Rachel - the pattern continues - we must hold on to this.
I have a vivid memory of Rachel's birthday party in Glen Alvie. How impressed I was at how much trouble you went to the streamers, conical hats with netting - and how Rachel was full of energy, happiness and mischief, amidst the other children, the toddlers, the nappies!
I can see our children racing, tumbling down the incline on the Glen Alvie property, skidding around the dam, swinging in the Guide Park while we both, ever protective, called out : "Be careful! Watch out!" Rachel and Ryan dancing at Wonthaggi theatre, Rachel and Emily playing together...
At your house during this horrible, terrible time Ashleigh-Rose and Emily were linking arms, Heather and Stuart together - we shall be strong for all our children but we'll never stop loving and remembering dear Rachel - she has and always will have a special place in our hearts.
With all our love,
Chris, Dev, Ryan, Emily and Stuart
Dear Elizabeth and Michael,
I just wanted to write down for you some of my memories of Rachel from that first day of kindergarten when she decided that she was going to marry Ryan, to the last time Ryan saw her when - rumour has it! - she kissed him in the garage!
I shall always remember her as a sweet, happy, fun-loving child. I'm now watching Stuart and Heather together and they are how I remember Ryan and Rachel - the pattern continues - we must hold on to this.
I have a vivid memory of Rachel's birthday party in Glen Alvie. How impressed I was at how much trouble you went to the streamers, conical hats with netting - and how Rachel was full of energy, happiness and mischief, amidst the other children, the toddlers, the nappies!
I can see our children racing, tumbling down the incline on the Glen Alvie property, skidding around the dam, swinging in the Guide Park while we both, ever protective, called out : "Be careful! Watch out!" Rachel and Ryan dancing at Wonthaggi theatre, Rachel and Emily playing together...
At your house during this horrible, terrible time Ashleigh-Rose and Emily were linking arms, Heather and Stuart together - we shall be strong for all our children but we'll never stop loving and remembering dear Rachel - she has and always will have a special place in our hearts.
With all our love,
Chris, Dev, Ryan, Emily and Stuart
Reverend Raymond Wilson was the vicar at St Augustine's when we lived in Mont Albert. For a time I worshipped at St. Augustine's and sometimes the girls accompanied me. (This was after we worshipped at the Balwyn Baptist Church and when Rachel attended the youth group at St. Hilary's in Kew. Reverend Wilson has since died and I rang the office of the Diocese of Melbourne and was told that because I was unable to contact family it would still be okay to include his letter here. Rev Wilson wrote us a beautiful letter and in equally beautiful calligraphic hand-script. It was a very long letter but I have had to include it here as I love the way he captures Rachel's personality. (I have omitted only a few paragraphs.)
My Dear Elizabeth,
17th March, 1999
All those who knew you at St Augustine's join me in offering you our deepest sympathy at your dreadful loss of Rachel. As soon as we knew she was missing we put her name on the parish prayer list and though those prayers were not answered in a way any of us wanted, I imagine you knew that your friends all over Melbourne were like us: wanting to help bear the burden of anxiety and dismay.
A few years ago the son of a friend of mine died and he said, "[Name deleted] left behind a sweet fragrance". At the time I thought it an odd thing to say in the midst of grief but now that we have been thinking of Rachel every day and remembering the part of her life we knew, I am beginning to understand what he meant. She was such a sweet child and there is a fragrance in recalling her personality.
I think she was in grade five when I first met her at a ... craft market a few months after I arrived at St Augustine's. She arrived with a school friend to buy something as a present, I think, soon after we opened. From time to time I saw her with her friend discussing weighing considering but never buying. I can remember wondering whether she was alright because she seemed so irresolute.
But the next year I taught her religious studies in Meredith's class and I understood she wasn't irresolute at all. She sat throughout the year with a very tall thin girl called Laura and it became obvious that for Rachel conversation was an end in itself. Just as she didn't really need to buy anything at our craft market, but only talk about it. So in Religious Education classes she didn't need to produce anything in her work book. She just needed to consider, discuss, chat and converse with Laura. Normally, I would have been cross about such inattention but it was quite impossible with Rachel who was friendly, polite and in no way disruptive. It was as though she was offering tolerance of my noisy class-room technique and expected my tolerance in return when she needed to talk about things with Laura. And for reasons which are still unknown to me, I accepted her view of reality and gave her the tolerance she expected.
The situation was sustained for the whole year and I have often laughed at remembering her cool, amused, very sweet arrangement of our relationship. Sometime in year seven I remember meeting you and hearing that Rachel had opened the Battle of Adolescence at home and soon afterwards I began seeing her sauntering down [deleted Parade] to our corner, chatting in the churchyard and once or twice I found on coming into church, Rachel and her friends apparently sitting and praying. I am not at all used to spontaneous piety in adolescent girls and I was very impressed. Sadly for me, though, I discovered that God was not actually the magnet for the group, but young [boy's name deleted] across the road. Again Rachel's wooing of [boy's name deleted] had an air of satiric detachment almost as though she was gently sending up the convention - that she was a person watching another person being boy crazy - without altogether disowning the person she was watching.
Then she began going to St Hilary's and one consequence of that was the loveliest memory I have of her. Kath Holgate mentioned that she had seen Rachel at the church and that Rachel had been looking for me. A few days afterwards I came into church and there she was in my stall: kneeling and leafing through my prayer book. She said she thought that with the help of some friends she could start an evening youth service at St Augustine's: a band, catchy choruses just like St.Hilary's with Rachel pulling focus somewhere up front but bringing out at the same time such happiness into the lives of the local teens who would come to worship; into the lives of the band members; into the lives of the song-support girls and into my life, too, for I would have broken out of my stuffy conventions to be touched by LIFE. I was very encouraged and loved her optimism. It was easy for her to believe that it could all happen. I would hate to think it hurt her that this particular plan came to nothing. I rather think she simply moved on to other things.
My lasting memory of Rachel is of an adolescent who showed no awkwardness with older adults. She always seemed genuinely pleased to see my wife and I on our afternoon walks and there was never a sign of an inward sigh that said, 'Here come those wrinklies again." She was on the level we knew her, easy humourous polite and very smiley.
These are very slight degrees of acquaintance with Rachel and very superficial, but perhaps it is a comfort for you to know that even on such a level she was a memorable person whose presence was associated with a kind of jollity, a lightness that made people like me at St Augustine's very happy.
May you find comfort and hope in those moments when your grief lifts.
Raymond Wilson.
My Dear Elizabeth,
17th March, 1999
All those who knew you at St Augustine's join me in offering you our deepest sympathy at your dreadful loss of Rachel. As soon as we knew she was missing we put her name on the parish prayer list and though those prayers were not answered in a way any of us wanted, I imagine you knew that your friends all over Melbourne were like us: wanting to help bear the burden of anxiety and dismay.
A few years ago the son of a friend of mine died and he said, "[Name deleted] left behind a sweet fragrance". At the time I thought it an odd thing to say in the midst of grief but now that we have been thinking of Rachel every day and remembering the part of her life we knew, I am beginning to understand what he meant. She was such a sweet child and there is a fragrance in recalling her personality.
I think she was in grade five when I first met her at a ... craft market a few months after I arrived at St Augustine's. She arrived with a school friend to buy something as a present, I think, soon after we opened. From time to time I saw her with her friend discussing weighing considering but never buying. I can remember wondering whether she was alright because she seemed so irresolute.
But the next year I taught her religious studies in Meredith's class and I understood she wasn't irresolute at all. She sat throughout the year with a very tall thin girl called Laura and it became obvious that for Rachel conversation was an end in itself. Just as she didn't really need to buy anything at our craft market, but only talk about it. So in Religious Education classes she didn't need to produce anything in her work book. She just needed to consider, discuss, chat and converse with Laura. Normally, I would have been cross about such inattention but it was quite impossible with Rachel who was friendly, polite and in no way disruptive. It was as though she was offering tolerance of my noisy class-room technique and expected my tolerance in return when she needed to talk about things with Laura. And for reasons which are still unknown to me, I accepted her view of reality and gave her the tolerance she expected.
The situation was sustained for the whole year and I have often laughed at remembering her cool, amused, very sweet arrangement of our relationship. Sometime in year seven I remember meeting you and hearing that Rachel had opened the Battle of Adolescence at home and soon afterwards I began seeing her sauntering down [deleted Parade] to our corner, chatting in the churchyard and once or twice I found on coming into church, Rachel and her friends apparently sitting and praying. I am not at all used to spontaneous piety in adolescent girls and I was very impressed. Sadly for me, though, I discovered that God was not actually the magnet for the group, but young [boy's name deleted] across the road. Again Rachel's wooing of [boy's name deleted] had an air of satiric detachment almost as though she was gently sending up the convention - that she was a person watching another person being boy crazy - without altogether disowning the person she was watching.
Then she began going to St Hilary's and one consequence of that was the loveliest memory I have of her. Kath Holgate mentioned that she had seen Rachel at the church and that Rachel had been looking for me. A few days afterwards I came into church and there she was in my stall: kneeling and leafing through my prayer book. She said she thought that with the help of some friends she could start an evening youth service at St Augustine's: a band, catchy choruses just like St.Hilary's with Rachel pulling focus somewhere up front but bringing out at the same time such happiness into the lives of the local teens who would come to worship; into the lives of the band members; into the lives of the song-support girls and into my life, too, for I would have broken out of my stuffy conventions to be touched by LIFE. I was very encouraged and loved her optimism. It was easy for her to believe that it could all happen. I would hate to think it hurt her that this particular plan came to nothing. I rather think she simply moved on to other things.
My lasting memory of Rachel is of an adolescent who showed no awkwardness with older adults. She always seemed genuinely pleased to see my wife and I on our afternoon walks and there was never a sign of an inward sigh that said, 'Here come those wrinklies again." She was on the level we knew her, easy humourous polite and very smiley.
These are very slight degrees of acquaintance with Rachel and very superficial, but perhaps it is a comfort for you to know that even on such a level she was a memorable person whose presence was associated with a kind of jollity, a lightness that made people like me at St Augustine's very happy.
May you find comfort and hope in those moments when your grief lifts.
Raymond Wilson.
Rachel at her confirmation. She organised to take the confirmation classes herself, after school at St Hilary's youth group, Wipeout.
Rachel showing off her new Grade Six jacket, but not in school uniform. She is wearing one of her favourite dresses. This was on Christmas Day.
Dear Mr and Mrs Barber, 17/03/99
I am writing to express, firstly, how deeply sorry I am on the loss of Rachel, and secondly to thank you for providing such a beautiful daughter to be a friend of mine.
As a youth group leader at St Hilary's I had the privilege of getting to know Rachel in 1997 and 1998. On meeting her we immediately became friends and although I am ten years older we would always seek each other out at church to say 'hi' and chat. In fact, it was most often Rachel who would seek me out and, as I reminded people at St Hil's over the weekend, it was never more than a few seconds upon entering church that Rachel would literally come running up to me to give me a huge hug. She had this ability to make people she knew feel so special and through her hugs, huge smile and open nature made me feel very close to her, and really loved.
Although I have been teaching youth groups for seven years and have been in contact with hundreds and hundreds of kids, Rachel is one who holds a very special place in my heart, primarily because of her ability to love me and care for me, regardless of our age difference.
You both should be incredibly proud of bringing up such a beautiful girl who was so genuine in her love of her friends and of God. Over the last week as I prayed for her and you both and (like so many others I'm sure) spent time driving the streets of Prahran at night looking for her, I was able to reflect on how special Rachel is to my life, and how vividly her many qualities came flooding to mind. Please be constantly reminded of the joy and friendship she gave to so many, including me.
As I remember how tightly Rachel used to hug me, I love to think of how much tighter God has His arms wrapped around her right now.
May God's peace be with you both.
Kindest Regards,
Richard.
(I have left Richard's surname off because I have not contacted him before I printed this letter,
but I wanted to share this letter because it describes how important Rachel's friends were to Rachel.)
I am writing to express, firstly, how deeply sorry I am on the loss of Rachel, and secondly to thank you for providing such a beautiful daughter to be a friend of mine.
As a youth group leader at St Hilary's I had the privilege of getting to know Rachel in 1997 and 1998. On meeting her we immediately became friends and although I am ten years older we would always seek each other out at church to say 'hi' and chat. In fact, it was most often Rachel who would seek me out and, as I reminded people at St Hil's over the weekend, it was never more than a few seconds upon entering church that Rachel would literally come running up to me to give me a huge hug. She had this ability to make people she knew feel so special and through her hugs, huge smile and open nature made me feel very close to her, and really loved.
Although I have been teaching youth groups for seven years and have been in contact with hundreds and hundreds of kids, Rachel is one who holds a very special place in my heart, primarily because of her ability to love me and care for me, regardless of our age difference.
You both should be incredibly proud of bringing up such a beautiful girl who was so genuine in her love of her friends and of God. Over the last week as I prayed for her and you both and (like so many others I'm sure) spent time driving the streets of Prahran at night looking for her, I was able to reflect on how special Rachel is to my life, and how vividly her many qualities came flooding to mind. Please be constantly reminded of the joy and friendship she gave to so many, including me.
As I remember how tightly Rachel used to hug me, I love to think of how much tighter God has His arms wrapped around her right now.
May God's peace be with you both.
Kindest Regards,
Richard.
(I have left Richard's surname off because I have not contacted him before I printed this letter,
but I wanted to share this letter because it describes how important Rachel's friends were to Rachel.)
Dear Michael and Elizabeth, 25.03.99
The enclosed photos were taken at Sovereign Hill in 1993 at the Grade 4 camp...
Our class attended St Peter's School that year and I well remember the teacher, whom we had to call Ma'am' saying to me, 'Miss Rachel's mind seems to be somewhere else today." I couldn't keep smiling.
Rachel may not have been a scholar, but she had her priorities right. Her love of family and friends and her faith in God. In addition she had a great talent.
The funeral services at St Hilary's and Lilydale were inspiring farewells to Rachel, tinged with the right amount of worship. solemnity, grief and humour. You all spoke so well, including Manni. I was filled with admiration. Not only your family's words, but those of the ministers, were so appropriate and I came away feeling that, in spite of the awful tragedy, evil did not have the last word. I felt privileged to be there.
My heart aches for you and all the family. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
with love, Jo
(Jo was Rachel's Grade 4 teacher)
The enclosed photos were taken at Sovereign Hill in 1993 at the Grade 4 camp...
Our class attended St Peter's School that year and I well remember the teacher, whom we had to call Ma'am' saying to me, 'Miss Rachel's mind seems to be somewhere else today." I couldn't keep smiling.
Rachel may not have been a scholar, but she had her priorities right. Her love of family and friends and her faith in God. In addition she had a great talent.
The funeral services at St Hilary's and Lilydale were inspiring farewells to Rachel, tinged with the right amount of worship. solemnity, grief and humour. You all spoke so well, including Manni. I was filled with admiration. Not only your family's words, but those of the ministers, were so appropriate and I came away feeling that, in spite of the awful tragedy, evil did not have the last word. I felt privileged to be there.
My heart aches for you and all the family. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
with love, Jo
(Jo was Rachel's Grade 4 teacher)
At Sovereign Hill, Ballarat, in the sweet shop. Rachel is at the counter trying to decided which lolly. The lady looks like she is thinking now are you really sure it's this one you want.
This is a beautiful letter sent to me in August 2013, and I have permission from Kirstie to publish it here in its entirety. It is a deeply moving letter.
Dear Elizabeth
I have contemplated writing to you many times over the past 15 years but never had the courage. Today I have finally found it. My name is Kirstie Shaw but my maiden name was Kirstie Stoneman.
I went to school with your beautiful daughter Rachel in grade 5 at Mont Albert Primary School. I remember her as the most beautiful & sweet girl who always tried to be friends with everyone. I remember her spending her break times in the hall madly dancing or rehearsing for a dance performance or upcoming exam. I remember her dedication and passion for dance, even at that young age.
She was part of our "group" and I missed her terribly when our family suddenly moved to Brisbane towards the end of the year.
Whenever she was able to catch up with our friend Lauren Wade both of them would try to sneak an interstate phone call to me without Lauren's parents knowing, it was usually on a Sunday back when the call rates on a Sunday were cheaper.
I stayed in touch with them for many years after I left, albeit not on a regular basis but whenever they were able to get together they still made the effort to call me and we would spend time giggling on the phone together.
I still remember getting that phone call from Lauren asking me if I'd seen Rachel, I remember being extremely confused and thinking why on earth would Rachel be in Brisbane and not at home with the family she loves so much? I hadn't really spoken to them for about a year so it was absolutely shocking to get that call out of nowhere.
When I heard she was missing it was just unbelievable. I can only imagine what you & your family must have been going through. I was only a distant friend and it hurt me terribly. When I finally found out a couple of weeks later on the news about how they had found Rachel it truly was a defining moment in my life. Everything I thought I knew about the world was shattered. How something so awful could happen to someone so truly precious and beautiful was totally beyond me.
Sadly, less than two years ago I experienced the pain of losing my own child. My son Lachlan was stillborn. Again, my world was shattered, and everything I thought I knew about life was seriously questioned and pondered.
I am currently studying my Masters in Counselling so that I can help bereaved parents. Whilst Lachlan's death was primarily the instigator for this career choice, Rachel was also an inspiration as well.
Every time a significant event has occurred in my life, albeit it my 21st, wedding, overseas travelling, the birth of my children, Rachel has never been far from my thoughts and I have always been sad at the thought that she would never experience these things but hoped that she would be watching those she loved and experiencing things through them.
I have always admired you & your husbands courage and grace over the years. I bought your book not long after it was released and it took me a good 3 years to read it. I had to keep putting it down and coming back to it.
Your daughter will always be in my heart, she was one of those people that you only encounter rarely in life, a truly beautiful soul. I call them "Earth Angels", I hope that doesn't sound weird. Her death had a profound effect on me, but it will always be her life I will remember and cherish. She lives on in those who remember her for the beautiful person she will always be.
Kindest Regards
Kirstie Shaw
A primary school aged Rachel being cheeky for the camera.
St. Hilary's, Kew
Home of Wipeout
Home of Wipeout
