Rachel Barber
1983 -1999
Official Memorial Website
Administered by Rachel's parents Michael and Elizabeth Barber
1983 -1999
Official Memorial Website
Administered by Rachel's parents Michael and Elizabeth Barber
Click the video to watch Heather's tribute to her sister. Heather, sings 'Angel' (Sarah McLachlan's song) to a photographic tribute of Rachel's short life. Compiled by Rachel's parents, Mike and Elizabeth Barber. Piano accompaniment by Guy Pearce and recorded in Guy's studio. Heather sung this song often when she was a teenager in memory of Rachel. Unbeknown to her Simone North, Writer and Director, of the feature film telling the story of Rachel's murder listened to the same song while writing the script
The following is a poem by Rachel's sister, Ashleigh-Rose. She wrote this when she was in Year Nine at school.This would make Ashleigh-Rose about 15 years old. It is here with her permission, but may not be printed elsewhere.
Not Knowing
I remember her not coming home.
One night, two nights, three nights and more.
I remember the searching.
Our house was no longer a happy place.
Everyone was sad and scared.
why hadn't she come home?
Where was she?
I remember leaving home to go and stay with my grandparents.
I couldn't handle the not knowing.
I remember I would pray every night,
hoping she was okay.
Two weeks now and no sign of her.
Finally the phone call.
Granny answered; gave the phone to Granddad.
I can still remember those words;
'I don't think Rachel's coming home.'
She's gone.
First I was in shock.
Then came the tears; I couldn't stop.
I was so sad; I just wanted to go home.
The car trip was so silent.
No one spoke.
When I got home
I walked through the door.
Everyone was there.
More tears came.
I couldn't stop.
I missed her.
I wanted to feel her warm arms around me.
I didn't want to know.
I didn't want to believe it.
I missed her.
'She isn't dead, she can't be.'
I was up all night. I can't remember sleeping that whole week.
Then came the choosing of the coffin.
And seeing the coffin.
We weren't allowed to look at her; she had been dead two weeks.
I couldn't stop crying.
I was practically lying on the coffin.
I didn't want to let her go.
By the end of the night I was helping other people cope.
Then came the funeral.
I was trying to be brave at first.
I remember being angry.
Angry with the media. They took Mum and Dad away.
I didn't want them to go.
We went into the church;
there would have been over 1000 people.
People outside the church and in the hall.
Then the song 'Finally Found'.
I tried not crying but I couldn't help it.
Finally the cemetery.
Everyone was there. Everyone crying.
Being home. Everyone there.
A few weeks past;
I remember trying to cover my sadness; my pain.
Then, people stopped coming .
Like it was all over.
But it was just the beginning.
It gets worse and worse.
Hiding more pain.
It creeps up on you.
Now depression.
Will this pain ever end?
Then the missing, but that was already there.
It gets worse.
Forgetting comes next.
You still have photos, but you start to forget.
Forget her smell.
Forget her voice.
Everything about her. It starts to fade away.
Why did this have to happen?
What if she hadn't gone?
Would she still be here?
I want this pain to end.
It hurts so much.
When will I wake up from this nightmare?
When?
Ashleigh-Rose Barber
I remember her not coming home.
One night, two nights, three nights and more.
I remember the searching.
Our house was no longer a happy place.
Everyone was sad and scared.
why hadn't she come home?
Where was she?
I remember leaving home to go and stay with my grandparents.
I couldn't handle the not knowing.
I remember I would pray every night,
hoping she was okay.
Two weeks now and no sign of her.
Finally the phone call.
Granny answered; gave the phone to Granddad.
I can still remember those words;
'I don't think Rachel's coming home.'
She's gone.
First I was in shock.
Then came the tears; I couldn't stop.
I was so sad; I just wanted to go home.
The car trip was so silent.
No one spoke.
When I got home
I walked through the door.
Everyone was there.
More tears came.
I couldn't stop.
I missed her.
I wanted to feel her warm arms around me.
I didn't want to know.
I didn't want to believe it.
I missed her.
'She isn't dead, she can't be.'
I was up all night. I can't remember sleeping that whole week.
Then came the choosing of the coffin.
And seeing the coffin.
We weren't allowed to look at her; she had been dead two weeks.
I couldn't stop crying.
I was practically lying on the coffin.
I didn't want to let her go.
By the end of the night I was helping other people cope.
Then came the funeral.
I was trying to be brave at first.
I remember being angry.
Angry with the media. They took Mum and Dad away.
I didn't want them to go.
We went into the church;
there would have been over 1000 people.
People outside the church and in the hall.
Then the song 'Finally Found'.
I tried not crying but I couldn't help it.
Finally the cemetery.
Everyone was there. Everyone crying.
Being home. Everyone there.
A few weeks past;
I remember trying to cover my sadness; my pain.
Then, people stopped coming .
Like it was all over.
But it was just the beginning.
It gets worse and worse.
Hiding more pain.
It creeps up on you.
Now depression.
Will this pain ever end?
Then the missing, but that was already there.
It gets worse.
Forgetting comes next.
You still have photos, but you start to forget.
Forget her smell.
Forget her voice.
Everything about her. It starts to fade away.
Why did this have to happen?
What if she hadn't gone?
Would she still be here?
I want this pain to end.
It hurts so much.
When will I wake up from this nightmare?
When?
Ashleigh-Rose Barber
Ashleigh-Rose
Heather
Finally Found: Honeyz
Rachel had dedicated this song to Manni a short while before she was murdered. It was played at her funeral and Ashleigh-Rose recalls it in her poem. (I could not find an instrumental so I suggest you listen to it after you have read Ashleigh-Rose's poem.
Rachel had dedicated this song to Manni a short while before she was murdered. It was played at her funeral and Ashleigh-Rose recalls it in her poem. (I could not find an instrumental so I suggest you listen to it after you have read Ashleigh-Rose's poem.
A weekend in Sorrento
Ashleigh-Rose and Rachel at Nanny Joy's.
Sisters playing row row row your boat.
At Nanny Joy's
Click the video to watch Heather's cover version of Bette Midler's The Rose. Another song she would like to dedicate to her sister, Rachel. (In the grandparents stories pages is a story by Granny Susan about Rachel's reaction to Beaches, the film starring Bette Midler.)
Three Sisters
Three sisters playing at Grandad Ivan's. It always seemed to be Ashleigh-Rose with the camera, and Heather with the wand.
Heather spoke to Smita Mistry at That's Life Magazine, Issue 37. Click That's Life to read story. Story title 'Our babysitter's deadly obsession - that's life!'
If you are having trouble with the above link, the following is a copy of the story, which Heather told to Smita Mistry of That's Life Magazine, Issue 37. The magazine article on the link also has photographs.
Fifteen-year-old Rachel Barber was murdered by her babysitter. Here, her sister Heather shares her story of pain and hope.
Dear Rachel,
Blowing out the candles on my 15th birthday cake, I could see your smiling face when I closed my eyes. I had just one wish. 'I want you here,' I whispered.
You were my big sister, Rachel, and should've been by my side. The day I turned 15, the age you were when you were taken from us, you would have been 21. Instead you'll forever be a teenager, torn from our family by someone we trusted.
Growing up, I always admired you. You lived to perform and every day, you would direct plays for me and our sister, Ashleigh-Rose, 11, to appear in.
Our parents, Michael and Elizabeth, would watch, cheering at the end. You were a star, shining brightly wherever you went.
But when I was nine, everything changed. I remember that afternoon as if it was yesterday. 'Love you Mum!' you chirped as you raced off to dance rehearsal.
After class you were due to catch the tram straight home - but as the hours ticked by, there was still no sign of you.
Slowly, an unsettling tension gripped our home. Where were you? It wasn't like you to be late.
'Rachel's missing...' Mum panicked. I was only nine, but deep down I knew you were in danger.
Mum and Dad scoured the streets with the police and our friends and family. Thousands of posters of you were put up all over Melbourne.
My sister Rachel, you were my shining star
Back at home, all I wanted was for you to come back. Where were you? Then, 12 days later, we got news from the police.
Mum and Dad didn't need to say a word. The tears in their eyes told me everything. 'She's dead, isn't she?' I whispered.
'Rachel's been murdered by a family friend,' they explained. Ashleigh-Rose was absolutely hysterical, Mum and Dad were drowning in a sea of sorrow.
For me, the pain of losing you was crippling. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I couldn't even cry.
The days that passed were a blur of faces - police officers, relatives, journalists...
Who had taken you from us?
When Mum mentioned the name Caroline Reed Robertson, I was so confused.
Caroline used to be a family friend, and she had been our babysitter a few times when we were younger, but we hadn't seen or heard from her in years.
Did people think she'd killed you? It had to be a mistake.
I was quite young when she used to take care of us, but I do remember she was really quiet and a little odd. How could she be capable of such a thing?
But then the police arrested Caroline for your murder. We were shocked!
At the time, I was too young to realise what really happened when you were taken from us.
Our parents tried to shield Ashleigh-Rose and me from the details - but we couldn't escape the newspaper articles and the whispers at school.
Over time, I started to piece together the story. While our parents trusted Caroline, then 19, she'd been leading a double life. Police found her diary, revealing a sick plan to kill you.
Caroline had developed an abnormal obsession with you. She envied your personality, beauty and family.
Strikingly attractive, dancer's body, hypnotic green eyes, wild free spirit... she'd written. Caroline desperately wanted to be you and had even applied for your birth certificate.
A few days before you went missing, Caroline asked you to take part in a university study.
You went to her flat to help, and it was there she did the unthinkable. She drugged you before strangling you with a telephone cord and dumping your body in a closet.
My poor sister, you must have been so frightened. It breaks my heart to think of the pain you suffered.
Your body was discovered buried at a property belonging to Caroline's father.
When police interviewed her, she confessed everything. 'It was an accident,' she told an officer. 'I killed her.'
Caroline planned to adopt a new identity. Her diary revealed one of the names she considered was Jem Southall, Mum's maiden name. She killed you because she wanted to be you.
In November 2000, a year after you were murdered, Caroline Reed Robertson, 21, pleaded guilty to murder. She was sentenced to 20 years in prison, with a minimum jail term of 14 and a half years.
Although Caroline's jailing brought some comfort, our family struggles to live without you. As I drowned my sadness in music, Mum found writing about your story helped deal with your loss.
Most nights I heard her crying and Dad trying to console her, while dealing with his own pain. Ashleigh-Rose and I tried to support each other.
As I grew up, people started to say I looked like you. It's sad but also comforting to know that in a way, you're still with me.
Three years after you died, Mum wrote a book, Perfect Victim, about what we'd been through. Soon after it was released, we were approached by film directors. 'We want to make a movie about Rachel's story,' one proposed.
Talking it over, we realised it could be a chance to give you a voice from beyond the grave.
We were involved in every step, from seeing the script to meeting the crew on-set. Guy Pearce was cast as Dad and Miranda Otto played Mum.
When we sat down with Kate Bell, the girl who'd been given the role of Rachel, it was really emotional.
She looked just like you.
While the film I Am You was aired in the US, legal issues prevented it from appearing in Australia. That was until last month, when the movie was shown on Foxtel.
It was perfect timing because in August this year Caroline was eligible for parole. We hoped the movie would make people realise that someone capable of such a twisted crime should stay behind bars.
Thanks to a public outcry, Caroline's release has been delayed. It's a huge relief.
Touched by our story, Guy Pearce played piano as I performed Angel by Sarah McLachlan as a tribute to you, my sweet sister. 'You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort here,' I sang.
Rachel, we miss you so much. You're forever our shining star.
Fifteen-year-old Rachel Barber was murdered by her babysitter. Here, her sister Heather shares her story of pain and hope.
Dear Rachel,
Blowing out the candles on my 15th birthday cake, I could see your smiling face when I closed my eyes. I had just one wish. 'I want you here,' I whispered.
You were my big sister, Rachel, and should've been by my side. The day I turned 15, the age you were when you were taken from us, you would have been 21. Instead you'll forever be a teenager, torn from our family by someone we trusted.
Growing up, I always admired you. You lived to perform and every day, you would direct plays for me and our sister, Ashleigh-Rose, 11, to appear in.
Our parents, Michael and Elizabeth, would watch, cheering at the end. You were a star, shining brightly wherever you went.
But when I was nine, everything changed. I remember that afternoon as if it was yesterday. 'Love you Mum!' you chirped as you raced off to dance rehearsal.
After class you were due to catch the tram straight home - but as the hours ticked by, there was still no sign of you.
Slowly, an unsettling tension gripped our home. Where were you? It wasn't like you to be late.
'Rachel's missing...' Mum panicked. I was only nine, but deep down I knew you were in danger.
Mum and Dad scoured the streets with the police and our friends and family. Thousands of posters of you were put up all over Melbourne.
My sister Rachel, you were my shining star
Back at home, all I wanted was for you to come back. Where were you? Then, 12 days later, we got news from the police.
Mum and Dad didn't need to say a word. The tears in their eyes told me everything. 'She's dead, isn't she?' I whispered.
'Rachel's been murdered by a family friend,' they explained. Ashleigh-Rose was absolutely hysterical, Mum and Dad were drowning in a sea of sorrow.
For me, the pain of losing you was crippling. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I couldn't even cry.
The days that passed were a blur of faces - police officers, relatives, journalists...
Who had taken you from us?
When Mum mentioned the name Caroline Reed Robertson, I was so confused.
Caroline used to be a family friend, and she had been our babysitter a few times when we were younger, but we hadn't seen or heard from her in years.
Did people think she'd killed you? It had to be a mistake.
I was quite young when she used to take care of us, but I do remember she was really quiet and a little odd. How could she be capable of such a thing?
But then the police arrested Caroline for your murder. We were shocked!
At the time, I was too young to realise what really happened when you were taken from us.
Our parents tried to shield Ashleigh-Rose and me from the details - but we couldn't escape the newspaper articles and the whispers at school.
Over time, I started to piece together the story. While our parents trusted Caroline, then 19, she'd been leading a double life. Police found her diary, revealing a sick plan to kill you.
Caroline had developed an abnormal obsession with you. She envied your personality, beauty and family.
Strikingly attractive, dancer's body, hypnotic green eyes, wild free spirit... she'd written. Caroline desperately wanted to be you and had even applied for your birth certificate.
A few days before you went missing, Caroline asked you to take part in a university study.
You went to her flat to help, and it was there she did the unthinkable. She drugged you before strangling you with a telephone cord and dumping your body in a closet.
My poor sister, you must have been so frightened. It breaks my heart to think of the pain you suffered.
Your body was discovered buried at a property belonging to Caroline's father.
When police interviewed her, she confessed everything. 'It was an accident,' she told an officer. 'I killed her.'
Caroline planned to adopt a new identity. Her diary revealed one of the names she considered was Jem Southall, Mum's maiden name. She killed you because she wanted to be you.
In November 2000, a year after you were murdered, Caroline Reed Robertson, 21, pleaded guilty to murder. She was sentenced to 20 years in prison, with a minimum jail term of 14 and a half years.
Although Caroline's jailing brought some comfort, our family struggles to live without you. As I drowned my sadness in music, Mum found writing about your story helped deal with your loss.
Most nights I heard her crying and Dad trying to console her, while dealing with his own pain. Ashleigh-Rose and I tried to support each other.
As I grew up, people started to say I looked like you. It's sad but also comforting to know that in a way, you're still with me.
Three years after you died, Mum wrote a book, Perfect Victim, about what we'd been through. Soon after it was released, we were approached by film directors. 'We want to make a movie about Rachel's story,' one proposed.
Talking it over, we realised it could be a chance to give you a voice from beyond the grave.
We were involved in every step, from seeing the script to meeting the crew on-set. Guy Pearce was cast as Dad and Miranda Otto played Mum.
When we sat down with Kate Bell, the girl who'd been given the role of Rachel, it was really emotional.
She looked just like you.
While the film I Am You was aired in the US, legal issues prevented it from appearing in Australia. That was until last month, when the movie was shown on Foxtel.
It was perfect timing because in August this year Caroline was eligible for parole. We hoped the movie would make people realise that someone capable of such a twisted crime should stay behind bars.
Thanks to a public outcry, Caroline's release has been delayed. It's a huge relief.
Touched by our story, Guy Pearce played piano as I performed Angel by Sarah McLachlan as a tribute to you, my sweet sister. 'You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort here,' I sang.
Rachel, we miss you so much. You're forever our shining star.
Rachel (about 8), Heather (2), Elizabeth (Mum) and Ashleigh-rose (4).
www.rachelbarberofficialmemorial.com
